Autism: Key Mechanisms
Beyond the diagnostic criteria, understanding the underlying mechanisms of autism helps you see why certain behaviours occur and how to support your child more effectively.
When you understand why your child needs routine, or why they seem fine at school but melt down at home, you can respond with compassion rather than frustration. These mechanisms explain the "why" behind autistic behaviours.
Note: These concepts come from autistic researchers and community understanding as well as clinical research. They're useful frameworks, though research is ongoing.
The autistic brain often processes the world differently, making unexpected events more dysregulating. Predictability isn't rigidity - it's a way of managing a world that feels unpredictable and overwhelming.
What it looks like:
- •Distress at unexpected changes to routine
- •Needing to know the plan for the day
- •Repetitive watching of familiar content
- •Difficulty with surprises, even "nice" ones
- •Need to finish things once started
Strategies that help:
- ✓Provide advance warning of changes
- ✓Use visual schedules and timers
- ✓Explain the "why" behind changes
- ✓Create predictable routines
- ✓Allow time to process new information
Everyday tasks that happen automatically for most people require conscious effort for autistic people. This includes filtering out background noise, reading facial expressions, and hiding autistic traits to fit in. This extra mental work is exhausting - often called "Spoon Theory" in the community (where each task uses up a limited number of "spoons" of energy).
What it looks like:
- •Fine at school, meltdowns at home (afterschool restraint collapse)
- •Needing more downtime than peers
- •Seeming to have less "capacity" some days
- •Difficulty doing things when tired or stressed
- •Shutdowns when overwhelmed
Strategies that help:
- ✓Reduce unnecessary demands
- ✓Build in recovery time
- ✓Recognise that "fine at school" doesn't mean low support needs
- ✓Allow stimming and other regulation strategies
- ✓Don't add demands when capacity is low
Most people spread their attention across many things at once. Autistic people often focus intensely on one thing at a time instead. This explains both the remarkable deep focus on interests and the difficulty switching tasks or being interrupted.
What it looks like:
- •Complete absorption in topics of interest
- •Difficulty switching tasks or topics
- •Not noticing things outside focus of attention
- •Distress when interrupted mid-task
- •Deep expertise in narrow areas
Strategies that help:
- ✓Give warnings before transitions
- ✓Allow time to finish before moving on
- ✓Channel interests into learning
- ✓Avoid sudden interruptions
- ✓Recognise deep focus as a strength
Many autistic people learn to suppress or hide their natural behaviours to appear more neurotypical. This includes suppressing stimming, forcing eye contact, scripting conversations, and copying others' social behaviours. Masking is exhausting and associated with anxiety, depression, and burnout.
What it looks like:
- •Different presentation at school vs home
- •Exhaustion after social situations
- •Copying peers' behaviours and interests
- •Scripting conversations in advance
- •Suppressing stimming in public
- •Late diagnosis (especially in girls)
Consequences of masking:
- ⚠Increased anxiety and depression
- ⚠Identity confusion
- ⚠Autistic burnout
- ⚠Delayed diagnosis
- ⚠Support needs underestimated
What helps:
- ✓Create safe spaces where masking isn't needed
- ✓Don't praise masking behaviours
- ✓Allow authentic expression at home
- ✓Educate school about masking
- ✓Help your child understand their autistic identity
Teachers say your child was fine all day. Then they get home and explode. This isn't bad parenting or manipulation - it's the result of masking and cognitive load. Your child has been holding it together all day, and home is the safe place where they can finally release that pressure.
Signs:
- •Teacher says "fine at school"
- •Meltdown within minutes of getting home
- •Increased sensory sensitivity after school
- •Refusal to talk about the school day
- •Worse behaviour at home than at school
What helps:
- ✓Reduce demands immediately after school
- ✓Provide sensory-friendly decompression time
- ✓Don't pepper them with questions
- ✓Have snacks and quiet space ready
- ✓Delay homework and activities
- ✓Communicate with school about hidden support needs
Most autistic "behaviours" are actually adaptations - ways of coping with a world that isn't designed for their neurotype. When you understand this, you stop trying to eliminate the behaviours and start asking: "What need is this meeting?"
The goal isn't to make your child appear less autistic. It's to reduce the environmental demands that make life harder, while building their capacity and self-understanding.