Autism: Core Domains
Autism is defined by differences in two main areas: social communication and restricted/repetitive behaviours. Understanding these helps you see the world through your child's eyes.
Not every autistic person shows all these features, and how they present varies enormously. Some characteristics may be obvious; others may be hidden through masking (consciously or unconsciously suppressing autistic traits to fit in).
Many autistic people, especially girls and those diagnosed later, have learned to camouflage their differences - at significant personal cost.
Social Communication
Differences in how social interaction and communication work - not absence of social interest, but a different social operating system.
- •Difficulty with conversational turn-taking
- •Challenges initiating or responding to social interactions
- •Not sharing interests, emotions, or affect naturally
- •Seeming to talk "at" rather than "with" others
- •Limited or different use of eye contact
- •Difficulty reading others' body language
- •Facial expressions that don't match feelings or context
- •Limited use of gestures in communication
- •Difficulty adjusting behaviour to social context
- •Challenges with imaginative play or making friends
- •Preference for solitary activities
- •Apparent lack of interest in peers (though this may mask desire for connection)
Restricted & Repetitive Patterns
Patterns of behaviour, interests, and activities that provide comfort, regulation, and joy - even when they look unusual to others.
What it looks like:
- •Hand flapping, rocking, spinning
- •Repeating words or phrases (echolalia)
- •Lining up objects or arranging things in specific ways
- •Unusual sensory seeking behaviours
Reframe:
These behaviours often serve important regulatory functions and shouldn't be automatically discouraged.
What it looks like:
- •Distress at small changes in routine
- •Rigid thinking patterns
- •Need to take the same route or follow specific sequences
- •Difficulty with transitions
Reframe:
Predictability reduces cognitive load and anxiety. Gradual preparation for change helps more than forcing flexibility.
What it looks like:
- •Intense preoccupation with specific topics
- •Deep knowledge in narrow areas
- •May dominate conversations
- •Can be a source of joy, expertise, and career success
Reframe:
Special interests can be gateways to learning, connection, and meaningful work when channelled supportively.
What it looks like:
- •Unusual reactions to sounds, textures, lights, smells
- •Sensory seeking (spinning, pressure, loud noises)
- •Sensory avoiding (covering ears, food texture issues)
- •High pain tolerance or not noticing hunger/temperature
Reframe:
Sensory differences are neurological, not behavioural. Accommodation is more effective than exposure.
What this means in daily life
Comparing neurotypical and autistic processing - neither is right or wrong, just different.
| Area | Neurotypical approach | Autistic approach |
|---|---|---|
| Conversation | Naturally picks up social cues, fills silences, uses small talk | May not know when to speak, prefers direct communication, finds small talk confusing |
| Friendships | Navigates social groups intuitively, adjusts to group norms | May prefer one close friend, need explicit social rules, feel exhausted by groups |
| Change | Adapts relatively easily to schedule changes | May need advance warning, visual schedules, and time to process changes |
| Interests | Interest in many topics at moderate depth | Deep expertise in specific areas, may talk at length about interests |
| Environment | Can filter out background noise and sensory input | May hear every sound equally, find certain textures unbearable, need sensory breaks |
Autistic people aren't broken neurotypical people. They have a different neurological style that has both advantages and challenges. Many difficulties arise not from autism itself, but from living in a world designed for a different kind of brain.
When you understand that behaviours like stimming, need for routine, and sensory sensitivities serve important functions, you can support your child more effectively - working with their neurology, not against it.